changes, candy cigarettes, and the fair: the real story!

hi!!!!!!!

yeah so i’ve been like reallllllyyyy happy lately. i’ll get into that later.

changes. okay so tommy and i broke up almost 2 weeks ago. and lately i just feel alot better. i feel completely fine. kelsey and i figured out why too. it’s because during the last few months i felt like him and i were growing apart anyway and when we broke up and we stopped talking, it didn’t feel any different than when he wouldn’t talk to me while we were dating. except that i didn’t have this feeling of being upset because he wasn’t talking to me. i felt glad. so my best advice for any girl going through this is do not talk to the guy after you break up. it’ll help you ALOT.

candy cigarettes. yeah. i found them at the fair when i went with danny last saturday (not yesterday). i got some and they were like all gone in 2 days. so when i went with my fam on thursday i got somemore. excellent things. and then last night when i went to the fair with my SOS gang, i got somemore. i’m addicted and so is my mother. good thing they are way better than actual cigarettes lol

the fair. yep. i’ve been to the state fair 3 times. the first time with danny… SO MUCH FUN. as always. we made it a staff retreat (minus ica cause she couldn’t go) and we had a blast. we played this one game by ourselves, and danny paid for both of us, and i ended up winning so i got this stuffed frog which we named deborah. different rides and we each got $30 of candy. and danny od’d on it the next day. it was great. then i went with my family on thursday. and we just walked around the animals most of the time.  wasn’t too exciting. THEN i went last night with my SOS gang (minus christine but we met up with her later): matt, diane, jenny and ben. yeah that was quite an adventure, as anything with them is. we basically went on alot of rides, played 2 games, one being that lucky duck game so we all won something. we had this weird guy talk to ben and diane on the ferris wheel. and matt jenny and i had fun waching them. THEN after the fair we went to see disaster movie. worst movie you will ever see.  don’t waste your money. but we like talked the entire time and joked around with different parts of the movie. so it turned out to be okay. so after the movie i waited till mom got there with everybody… yeah we took ALOT of random pictures and videos. it was random.

 

TOMORROW I SHALL POST AGAIN.

 

^^ matt being completely normal (for his standards) and me being really creepy. with matt’s plastic sword he won at the fair.

changes, candy cigarettes, and the fair.

yeah things have been changing for me alot lately. i went to the back to school dance last night (friday night) and it is now one of the best nights of my life. i’m going to bed right now, but i’ll update with a “changes, candy cigarettes, and the fair: the real story” tomorrow. or monday. probably tomorrow. beacause i want to post a whole nother thing for monday;-)

 

haven’t done this in awhile: <3

when does the pain go away?

I don’t know just where I’m going
And tomorrow is a little overwhelming
And the air is cold and I’m not the same anymore.

I’ve been running in your direction for too long now,
Lost my own reflection and I can’t look down
If you’re not there to catch me when I fall.

If this is the moment I stand here on my own,
If this is my right of passage that somehow leads me home,
I might be afraid but it’s my turn to be brave.

All along, all I ever wanted was to be the light
When your life was daunting but I can’t see mine,
When I feel as though you’re pushing me away.

Well who’s to blame? Are we making the right choices?
‘Cause we can’t be sure, if we’re hearing our own voices,
As we close the door, even though we are so desperate to stay.

If this is the moment I stand here on my own,
If this is my right of passage that somehow leads me home,
I might be afraid but it’s my turn to be brave.
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye,
At least it’s the first day of the rest of my life,
I can’t be afraid ’cause it’s my turn to be brave.

And I might still cry,
And I might still bleed,
These thorns in my side,
This heart on my sleeve.
And lightening my strike this ground at my feet,
And I might still crash,
But I still believe…

This is the moment I stand here all alone,
With everything I have inside, everything I own,
I might be afraid but it’s my turn to be brave.
If this is the last time before we say goodbye,
At least it’s the first day of the rest of my life,
I can’t be afraid it’s my turn to be brave.

off i go!

well i’m leaving for summerstock in about 15 minutes. but i wanted to post before i left.

I’m really nervous but i’m like praying to God that i make it through tonight. once tonight’s over (even though there’s more auditioning tomorrow) i’ll have the acting part over so i’ll be fine. but GET ME THROUGH TONIGHT!

 

okay my picture is my headshot i had to get for camp:-)

 

bye everybody text me if you want my camp address!

the end of my life. (and the end of my summer.)

so my life (and summer) is going to end tomorrow night around 5. why you ask? because UHL officially starts. the first meeting is tomorrow evening at 5, with auditions. we are doing Cinderella’s Glass Slipper. i’m kinda excited to see the kids and be together. but i’m worried about how the show process is going to go. we’re much more organized than any other year, but as always the amount of kids draws a problem. but oh well, we’ll deal and get through it.

so you’re probably wondering how this is going to be the end of my summer if UHL is only for 3/4 weeks. Well this jumpstarts my entire summer, and i’m not going to get many breaks. UHL ends on the 13th of july, and right after the last show i have to begin packing for Summer Stock. Young People’s Summer Stock (the one i’m going to) is a 2 week away drama intensive camp. I’m going with Christine, and we have to specialize in a type of art (the choices being dance acting and singing). Christine and i are doing the singing, because guess who’s teaching it?! The one and only Terry Eberhardt (see last post of car pictures to understand who i’m talking about if you don’t). so Christine and i are thrilled as ever. I’ll be gone from july 19th till august 1st, which puts us at camp on both our 17th birthdays. we get back on the 1st of august, and guess what comes out august 2?! BREAKING DAWN (my new obsession). the 4th book in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. I’m so excited!!!!!!!!

so after camp, its august. hopefully i’m going to the beach with tommy in august for his grandfather’s birthday (if they’re going this year) and then when i get back from that (if there is a trip) there’s like 2 weeks break. Then i’m going to oc with the dornans, like we used to when we were all little. and that puts us to the beginning of senior year, my friends. isn’t that exciting.

here’s the picture. its me ica danny and tommy having a party with umbrellas in my moms car.

long overdue.

Okayyy story time. Prom first. Then the story about the fun way i blew off steam to take a break from school.

So it all started friday morning. I got my nails done with kelsey, cassie, aly, and tina. french manicure.

see? okay then. we had samples of soup at safeway for an early lunch. then we had quiznos. then we went to kelsey’s and cleaned alot and then i went home to get ready. then tommy came over and we took some pictures of just us.

 

okay so then we went back to kelseys to take pictures with the approximately 17 people we had at her house.

 

then we loaded up the cars and got to the prom. once we were there, we saw ms grey and mr parson and a bunch of other teachers, and like tons of kids.

then, after the amazing dancing and food, we headed back to the afterprom, located in las vegas, maryland. that was alot of fun. there was TONS of food, TONS of prizes, and we had fun watching transformers and doing other activties. then tommy and i got home around 5:30 in the morning and crashed.

thats the end of my prom story.

NOW i will tell you the fun thing that we did yesterday. Tommy (from drama not my tommy) and travis decided it would be the time of year to senior prank mr. e… so they ordered alot of packing peanuts and they got TONS of shredded paper, and filled e’s entire car with them.

 

so diane christine and i took it upon ourselves to clean out e’s car. while he stood and watched because he didn’t care enough to help lol

 

and finally, two hours later, we were “done”.

Secret Smile

Oh, what a ride, what a perfect sky

To frame your hazel eyes

I’d scream on the inside but right now

It feels like I’ve been tranquilized

 

Oh, what a fool am I to be tongue tied

Sittin’ next to him

The prince and the passenger

 

You touch the rain

And suddenly there’s waterfalls

Now everyday

There’s somethin’ more worth fightin’ for

 

Baby, you make the sun shine down

You make the sun shine down

You can paint the darkest clouds

And turn them into rainbows

 

You take your secret smile

The one that turns me on

Hey boy, you’ve been what I’m waitin’ for

 

 

issues.

okay so hypothetically.

say you have a best friend of the opposite gender who you’ve known since you were like 5. you two still hang out regularly like every weekend and talk alot during the week. and you also have a boyfriend who understands you’re really good friends with this other guy and is accepting of it. your friend and you were planning on going out on a saturday to hang out. now your friend is talking to you one night, a couple nights before you plan on going out, and he starts talking to you about girls. you’re used to the subject because he goes to you for advice on girls alot. but for some reason, he’s asking about you instead of other girls. you’re caught off guard about the way he’s talking when he says something about him trying to make a move on you. you remind him that that would be pointless, because one you’re like brother and sister together because you’ve known him for so long, and two you have a boyfriend who you love deeply and that’s not going to change. he says something back and you remind him that you are serious. and he says back “maybe i’m serious too.” which logically means he’s serious about making a move on you. so you stop talking to him and decide you don’t feel comfortable going to hang out with him by yourselves on saturday because of what he said. but somebody else who heard about what happened still wants you to go. and you try to explain to them why you don’t want to go but they don’t seem to respect that you just don’t want to go and they get upset with you about it. how do you not go crazy? why can’t they both just respect that you don’t want to go no matter what your reasons are. you shouldn’t have to prove anything to anybody. no matter what it is. (unless you want a star role in a musical, then prove it to whoever you have to. but thats not the point.)

again. hypothetically. 

PROM DRESS!

okay so i finally got it!!!!!! (and i know don’t give me that “you only have a week till prom and you’re just getting your dress now?!” i know. trust me.)

but i’m not going to post a picture of the dress (only kelsey gets to see it… it’s a surprise to everybody else. especially tommy!!)

but i will show you a picture of the color. i think you’ll think it’s pretty typical;-)

i’ll put prom pictures up right after! (but don’t worry i’ll hopefully post before then.)

(big blogging party.)

(this is my new favorite picture of myself.)

(and danny and i are having a big blogging party.)

(we’re IMming/webcamming; for him its webcamming for me its IMming cause i’m not cool enough to have a macbook yet)

(and we called santa and asked him for a black macbook and an iphone because we’re so cool like that.)